Milestones, Piece 6: Always Be There
by sapphiccharmer
Summary: #6 in the Milestone series. Tragedy strikes on Santana's birthday. Both girls learn that sometimes it takes something terrible to happen to appreciate what you have. Warning: Angst and minor character death.


**A/N: This is the sixth story of a series of one-shots that go together. You can read them out of order and they'd still make sense, or you can read them all in a row. This series is/will be published separately, so it would be silly to add this to story-alert. **

**Sorry this took so long guys, it was a tough one to write. There is a minor character death, so it may be a trigger for some people. **

**Special thanks to my beta, Jess!**

**Enjoy & thanks for reading! :)**

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><p>Santana hopped down the stairs in an unusually cheery manner. The smell of sausage and pancakes filled the house, and she let her nose follow the delicious scent. The pleats of her Cheerio's uniform lifted with her stride as she bounced into the kitchen, plopping onto a stool in the center of the room. Her mother stood with her back to her, rinsing off fresh raspberries to top off the pancakes: Santana's favorite. She couldn't contain her grin as she sat impatiently, waiting for recognition. She began tapping her short, black covered nails on the marble counter top of the island she was seated at. When her mother still remained silent, she cleared her throat.<p>

Mrs. Lopez jumped slightly at the noise, and spun around with a huge grin on her face. "Oh! Mija, you're up early," she observed as she dried her hands off on her apron and shuffled over to her daughter. She wrapped her arms around Santana, who graciously returned the hug. "Happy birthday!" she mused. She pulled away and rested her aged hands on Santana's shoulders and gave her a once-over. "Oh, you're growing up so fast. Where did my sweet little girl go?" Santana just chuckled.

A deep voice entered the conversation. "I wouldn't say _sweet_," he joked. He walked over to Santana and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Happy Birthday, Princess."

"Thank you, Daddy." Her parents really did do everything for her. She may act like she's had it rough, but in reality, she's had it pretty damn good. She lives in a great home, has a car, her own credit card, the perfect girlfriend, and wonderful parents. They were even pretty accepting when she came out to them. Her mother knew even before she did and her father came around to the idea…eventually. It took him some time, but he loves his baby girl unconditionally and nothing can change that. Though it _did_ help that her bubbly blonde girlfriend could charm her way into anyone's hearts.

"I'm sorry I can't stay for breakfast Pumpkin, but I have to get to the hospital early. We'll all go out for a special dinner tonight, okay?" he said, fixing his tie.

Santana nodded, watching him grab his coat and keys.

"And tell Brittany to wear something nice." Santana's face lit up and he winked at her.

"She can come?" Santana questioned, barely able to contain her excitement.

He laughed heartily. "Of course. She's part of the family." And with that, he gave a quick kiss to his wife and left the house.

Santana let out a satisfied sigh. Mrs. Lopez smiled at her daughter as she placed the raspberry-topped pancakes and sausage in front of Santana. "See mija, I told you he'd come around. He loves Brittany. We both do. We know she's great for you." Her voice was warm and caring. Santana was pretty sure she had the best mother in the world. Aside from Brittany, her mother was her best friend. Sure, certain things are super awkward to discuss with your mom, but that just comes with the territory of being a teenager. She knew she could count on her mom for anything. Besides, it definitely didn't hurt being an only child.

As she ate, she let her mind wander to her grandmother. She wasn't as thrilled to hear about Santana's 'secret', and they've hardly spoke since. A sad feeling hit the pit of her stomach as she thought about her own grandma abandoning her.

"Mama?" Santana asked as she pushed food around her plate. "Do you think Abuela will ever talk to me again?"

Mrs. Lopez slung the rag she'd been wiping the counters down with over her shoulder. "Oh sweetie. Your abuelita just needs time, like your father did. She's just stubborn. Where do you think you got it from?" she teased, trying to lighten the mood. She didn't want her daughter's mood to plummet on her birthday.

Santana mustered a half smile at her mother's attempt to cheer her up. "Yeah, I guess." She pushed her plate away and gathered up her things. "I've got to go pick up Britt."

"Okay sweetie. Have a wonderful day." She said as Santana glided over, placing a kiss on her mother's cheek.

* * *

><p>Santana flipped down her visor to check her makeup in the mirror as she waited for Brittany in front of the Pierce house. As she retouched her mascara, the passenger's door flew open and a bouncing figure plopped herself into the seat. Santana flipped her mirror back up and looked over at Brittany, who was grinning from ear to ear.<p>

"Happy Birthday, Sanny!" she cheered as she pulled a slightly caught-off-guard Santana in for a searing kiss.

"Whoa…thanks B," Santana chuckled as she sat back. She furrowed her brow and smacked her lips a few times. "Why do you taste like chocolate?"

Brittany broke eye contact and twiddled her thumbs. "No reason…" a slight smile almost broke through but she held it back.

Santana decided not to question it. She simply shrugged and threw the car into drive.

When they arrived at school, they walked hand in hand towards their lockers. As they approached them, Brittany watched Santana's face as the brunette noticed the locker decorated with signs, streamers, and balloons. She swore she'd never seen a bigger smile grace Santana's face.

"Britt! You did this for me?" Santana nearly squealed. Catching her slip up, she cleared her throat and tried again. "I mean…that's really sweet, thanks. But you didn't have to."

Brittany just rolled her eyes. Santana always tried to play it off as though she didn't like birthdays. She always said they were pointless and a waste of money, and she didn't need a day devoted to attention because she could get it any day she wanted anyway. Only her parents and Brittany had seen the real importance of them to Santana. It was a time of year when Santana got to talk to distant family members and have special dinners with her parents. And that, paired with Brittany's unwavering birthday enthusiasm, made for a very giddy Santana, even if she did try to mask it with badassery.

Before Brittany was able to call her out, Santana's phone vibrated.

**Mom:** Aunt Penelope called. She says Happy Birthday. Have a wonderful day at school. I love you xoxo

**S:** Thanks. Love you too Mama

Santana smiled. This was the best day ever.

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><p>Classes weren't as boring as usual, since she only went to the ones she and Brittany had together, spending the rest under the bleachers or janitor's closet with Brittany. That's where they found themselves when the bell for last period rang, signaling that it was time for Glee Club.<p>

"I don't wanna go," Santana whined. Brittany responded with a kiss. "Can't we just stay here forever?"

Another kiss. "No, we need to go to Glee. Besides, it smells funny in here and after Glee I promise we can continue sweet lady kisses later." Brittany twirled a black lock of Santana's hair before kissing away the pout forming on her girlfriend's face. "And then some…" Brittany whispered as she reached under Santana's skirt and pressed her hand to the girl's heat. The blonde winked and turned towards the door, pushing it open and exiting, leaving a stunned, overheated Santana clutching the wall behind her.

Santana bolted out after her. "Britt, come back here!" Brittany gave her a quick smile over her shoulder as she skipped to the choir room door. Santana jogged to catch up with her. "You," she pointed her finger at Brittany. "_So_ owe me."

Brittany just winked and opened the door, allowing Santana to walk in first. Santana looked around, feeling suddenly conscious of the fact that everyone was dead silent, staring at her. "What?" she spat.

Brittany led her to a couple of empty seats in the front. Santana roll her eyes at the group and sat down, lacing her fingers with Brittany's. Rachel shot up from her seat and made her way to the front, to which Santana rolled her eyes again.

"I have an announcement-"

"You're gay?" Santana interrupted. A ball of paper hit her in the back of the head. "Hey! What the hell, Q?"

Rachel awkwardly cleared her throat. "Personal matters aside, it has come to my attention that today is a very special day." She looked directly at Santana and smiled, who in turn looked at Brittany and mouthed '_You didn't_'.

"Guys?" Rachel called, and everyone got up from their seats and stood at the front of the class, facing Santana. Brittany kissed Santana's hand and stood up to join them.

"San, I know you like to pretend birthdays don't matter and all, but these guys are our friends and they want to celebrate it." Brittany turned and walked out of the room for a moment, then returned with a large chocolate cake topped with lit candles.

Santana grinned and shook her head. She should have known Brittany was up to something. The group began singing 'Happy Birthday' while closing in on a tight circle around her. Brittany knelt in the center with the cake almost in Santana's lap. When the song was finished, she blew out the candles while everyone clapped.

"Alright alright," she waved off, laughing. "Maybe you trolls aren't so bad."

Content that that was the closest thing Santana could say to a 'thank you', they dispersed so Brittany could set the cake down and cut it. The rest of the time in Glee was spent eating cake and chatting.

Santana smiled at Brittany, who was humming in satisfaction at her own chocolate creation. The brunette raised an eyebrow. "Good?"

Brittany nodded and mumbled an "Mhmm."

Santana dipped a finger in chocolate icing and reached across, spreading it all over Brittany's face. After she'd completed her artwork, she smiled devilishly. "How about now?"

Brittany's eyes were saucers, until she glanced down at her own plate of cake. Catching on, Santana flew out of her chair, knocking it over in the process. The whole room watched as Brittany launched at Santana, smearing cake all over her face and Cheerios uniform. Both girls erupted in laughter and within seconds, the entire room followed suit. Cake was flung everywhere, covering just about every Glee member except for Kurt, who cowered in a corner using a chair to ward off any baking substance that might harm his Marc Jacobs jacket.

Soon the room died down, and everyone giggled at the mess they'd created. A few of the girls started to pick cake out of their hair, while the boys were swiping at their shirt and pants. Brittany cleverly used this time to suck some chocolate off of Santana's neck. Santana laughed and pulled her up for a kiss. "Thanks, B. For everything." They locked eyes for a moment when Santana heard her phone vibrate. Brittany gave her one last kiss before Santana parted to retrieve it from her bag. As Santana walked across the room, she noticed Quinn licking icing off of Rachel's cheek, who giggled like a little school girl in response. Ugh, they were seriously going to make her sick.

She sorted through her bag and found her phone, which had 7 missed calls and 4 texts. Her brow furrowed as she scrolled through, deciding to check the texts first. They were all from her father.

**Dad:** Where are you?

**Dad:** Please call me when you get this.

**Dad:** I thought you carried your phone with you during school?

But it was the last message that made Santana's heart stop.

**Dad:** Your mother is here at the hospital. Not looking good. Please come as soon as you can.

Santana read the message several times over before dropping her phone. For a good thirty seconds, she couldn't move. She didn't even hear the phone hit the ground. She was pretty sure her heart had stopped.

Brittany's smile fell when she saw Santana stand, unmoving, with her phone on the ground. She made her way over to her girlfriend and picked up the phone, scanning over the texts.

Santana didn't snap out of her trance until she felt strong arms grip her waist. She looked over at Brittany, who gestured for her to start walking. The choir room had fallen silent. Brittany had both backpacks slung over her shoulder and Santana's phone clenched in her fist. It wasn't until Santana made it halfway across the room that the shock was pushed aside and she started running. It was a damn good thing she was in a place she knew because had she been in somewhere unfamiliar, she would have ran until her legs gave out. She was hoping to god that Brittany was following her because her car keys were in that bag, and she needed to get to the hospital immediately.

Santana didn't remember the car ride there. All she remembered was Brittany forcing her to sit in the passengers seat because she was too shaky to drive.

She didn't even wait for Brittany to put the car in park near the hospital entrance before she opened the door and darted inside. Ignoring the nurse at the front desk, she made a bee line straight to her father's office. He wasn't there. She spun in record time when she felt a tap on her shoulder. It was a nurse.

"Dad...Lopez...where?" It was the closest thing to a sentence her brain could form.

The nurse gave Santana a sad smile. Had she not been in panic mode already, that would have sent her over the edge. The nurse pointed down the hallway, where her dad was walking, looking over a file. He didn't seem distraught, but he's always hid his emotions.

"Daddy!"

He looked up in time to find his daughter crashing into his arms. He hugged her tightly.

"Daddy, what happened?" Santana pulled away, searching her father's face for an answer, any answer.

Dr. Lopez looked her up and down, then lifted her dark locks, examining the cake crumbs and hardened frosting. He smiled a bit. "I should be asking you the same thing."

But her face didn't change. He had a habit of trying to distract her before telling her something she didn't want to hear.

He sighed and led her towards a few chairs on the edge of the hall. "She... had a heart attack." His voice wavered slightly. Now she could tell he wasn't doing well.

Her mind started racing. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. How the hell could she have had a _heart attack_? She was fine this morning. Great, even. It didn't make any fucking sense. No, this couldn't be happening. It was a dream. A really awful dream. It had to be.

She wanted to say something, but she couldn't. Her throat felt like it had completely closed up. Santana stared at her father, hoping somehow he could read her mind and answer all of her questions, and tell her everything was going to be okay. But he just sat there, lost in his own mind. She watched as he suddenly regained his composure and looked past her shoulder. "Hi, Brittany. Thank you for coming."

Brittany nodded weakly as she approached Santana. She reached down and threaded her fingers through Santana's limp hand and squeezed. The warmth and support projected to Santana by that minuscule action just what she needed to snap her out of her constricting daze. Santana blinked a few times, then stood abruptly. "I want to see her."

Dr. Lopez stood and motioned down the hall. "This way. She's going in for surgery soon so it's best we hurry."

The girls followed close behind. With each step, Santana's grip on Brittany's hand only got tighter. If there was anyone Santana would have chosen to be with her, it was Brittany. The blonde had been her safety net since childhood. She knew she could count on her for anything. Without her, Santana felt lost. Alone. Helpless. Brittany had a way of reigning in all of her emotions for her simply by just _being there_. And now, more than ever, Santana needed that. Brittany was her rock.

Santana took a deep breath when they arrived at the door to her mother's hospital room. As much as she wanted to - no, needed to - go in, her feet suddenly felt concreted to the floor. She couldn't bare to see her mom, her best friend, her lifeline, so close to death. She felt a tug on her hand. Brittany pulled Santana towards her, locking her in a tight embrace.

"You can do this," she whispered.

Santana nodded into Brittany's shoulder. It was amazing how the girl could practically read Santana's mind. She took one more deep breath, inhaling the sweet scent that was Brittany. It calmed her, if only a little.

Brittany kissed the side of Santana's head. "Do you want me to come in?"

"Please," Santana spoke quietly. Her voice trembled, threatening a breakdown. "I need you."

"It's okay," she soothed. "I'm not going anywhere, Santana."

Dr. Lopez held the door open for the girls. Santana stepped in carefully, Brittany following close behind. Tears finally threatened to spill at the sight before her. It hardly looked like the same person she'd just seen this morning. Her mother lay still, eyes closed and chest rising steadily. Tubes and IVs connected to multiple machines hovering around the bed. Her normally tanned skin was paler than Santana had ever seen.

Santana hesitantly made her way over to the hospital bed, her head ducked down a bit like she'd just been scolded. She wanted to touch her mother's hand, but she was scared. Feeling her mother's unmoving hand in her own would make all of this _real_. She turned to Brittany, who stood back by the door, giving her space. Brittany seemed to understand Santana's need for reassurance, and she gave a nod of encouragement. Santana mustered up the best smile she could, though it was not at all convincing, and turned back around. She dragged a nearby chair up to the bed and sat down. Taking a deep breath, she reached her hand out and tentatively wrapped her hand around her mother's.

"Mama..." she began. "Can you hear me?"

Her eyes quickly scanned her mother's face, but it remained unchanged. She took her other hand and placed it on her mother's shoulder, squeezing it and shaking it gently.

"Mama?"

Still no answer. Her face scrunched as tears began to run down her cheeks. She turned to her father, who was standing by the door next to Brittany. "Why isn't she waking up?" Her voice was broken.

Santana watched as her father's head dipped and he sighed heavily, and then she glanced at Brittany, who was biting her lip nervously. Her father ran his hand through his aging hair and responded. "She hasn't woken up since she arrived here." His voice was broken, too.

"She...she's going to be okay," Santana tested. "Right?" She looked at her Dr. Lopez, who was looking more and more lost. His composure was threatening to break.

"I...don't know." His words were honest. They were the words of a father, not a doctor. This was his daughter, and the last thing she needed was for him to lie to her.

Her tears flowed harder. She turned back to her mother and began to whisper. "Please mama, you have to be okay. You _have_ to. You're not done yet. You're going to make it through surgery, come home, and I'm going to make you the best dinner ever. Daddy and I will do all the cooking, and the cleaning, and I'll never talk back ever again. I'll stop sneaking out, or borrowing those diamond earrings you love without asking. Just please come home." Santana begged. "You can't leave me here. I can't do this alone." Her sobs became heavy. "I...I need you."

She looked for a response again, but got nothing. Her head collapsed on her mother's arm as her body shook from crying.

Brittany wanted so badly to make Santana stop hurting; to make her worry and sadness go away. She wanted to go and hug her and tell her everything was going to be okay, but she couldn't. Santana needed this time with her mom, and Brittany wasn't even sure if her words would be true. She _didn't_ know if everything was going to be okay. Not even Santana's dad could say it, and he was a doctor. So many times in the past several minutes did she have to swallow her tears. She couldn't stand seeing Santana like this, let alone her 'second mother' in the condition she was in. She cared deeply for the whole Lopez family, and it was killing her to watch them fall apart. But somebody had to be strong. For herself and for Santana.

Santana's sobbing was the only sound in the room for several long minutes. Brittany watched as Dr. Lopez glanced at the clock, then at her with a solemn expression on his face. He stepped forward and placed his hand on Santana's shoulder. "B-Babygirl," he cleared his throat. "Santana, it's time for surgery."

Santana shook her head furiously. Her grip tightened on her mother's limp hand. "No...not yet." She turned to her father. "Please, Daddy, not yet."

Dr. Lopez gave Brittany a look, motioning in Santana's direction. Brittany nodded and stepped forward, gently placing her hand on top of Santana's. "San...you have to let go."

She wasn't ready. But the look Brittany was giving her was just as pleading as her own. She looked down at Brittany's hand, slowly released her mother's, and grabbed onto Brittany's instead. Brittany helped her up and led her towards the door. Santana took one last look at her mother, and tightened her grip on Brittany's hand. No matter what happened, she knew Brittany would never let go.

* * *

><p>Santana sat in the waiting room chair, staring blankly into space. Her tears had ceased for now, and she just wanted to fast forward time for a few hours so she knew that her mother would be okay.<p>

Brittany walked up to her, extending her hand. "I got you coffee."

She shook her head, refusing it. She was pretty sure that her stomach would reject just about anything right now. All she wanted was to know that her mom was going to make it.

"Britt?"

"Yeah?" Brittany responded, setting down the coffee cup on the table in front of them.

"You're not going to leave me, right?" Santana whispered. She didn't know why she asked it, but she just felt she had to.

Brittany furrowed her eyebrows and knelt in front of Santana, taking both of her hands. "Never."

Santana simply nodded. There was nothing else to say at this point. She knew all she needed to know. Brittany kissed the tops of her hands and sat next to her. Santana let her head slowly fall to rest on Brittany's shoulder and closed her eyes. She knew she probably wouldn't be able to sleep, but for a moment, she needed to pretend she wasn't there.

* * *

><p>Santana awoke to the sound of whispering. She was curled up on the bench, head resting in Brittany's lap, facing the blonde's stomach. A tiny smile broke through - she'd actually gotten a bit of sleep and she'd dreamt of Brittany. It was a nice, short escape from reality. At least Brittany was here with her, gently stroking her hair. She breathed in to capture her smell. She swore it was like a drug. It calmed her, made her feel safe, and she couldn't get enough.<p>

There was more whispering. One was Brittany, because she could feel the vibrations of her voice as she replied. Who would be talking to Brittany? Santana guessed it was Quinn. The other voice was soft and concerned. It definitely had to be Quinn. Then a third voice came into the mix. It was a lot louder than the other two, and Santana rolled her eyes when she heard Brittany and Quinn 'shush' the person. Well, there went her tranquility.

"God, Rachel, only _you_ could manage to suck at something as simple as whispering," Santana groaned, slowly lifting her body off of Brittany's lap.

She made eye contact with Brittany as she sat up.

"Hi," Brittany spoke quietly, giving a small, hopeful smile as she combed her fingers through Santana's disheveled hair. "Did you sleep okay?"

Santana tried to return the smile, before letting out a sigh and shrug. "I guess so."

"Hey, San," Quinn said as she took a few hesitant steps towards the girls. "Rach and I wanted to come by and see how you were doing..." she trailed off. Santana could tell she felt a little out of place. They've always been friends, but they were never _warm_ with each other. It's just not how they communicated.

Santana stood up to stretch her body. "I'll be alright when my mom is out of surgery," she stated firmly.

Rachel stepped out from behind Quinn and before Santana could react, wrapped her arms around Santana's body. "I'm so sorry, Santana. I know you must be in awful shape. I could never imagine being in your position. You're so strong."

Santana looked at Quinn with a confused face, who just smiled and shrugged. She heard Brittany giggle behind her. Santana lifted her hands and awkwardly patted Rachel's back in return. When Rachel let go, she cleared her throat. "Yeah, thanks."

Rachel walked back over to Quinn and looped her arm through the blonde's. "Well if there is anything we can do, please don't hesitate to let us know."

Santana tried to think of something witty to say, but came up with nothing. Rachel was actually being relatively tolerable right now and to be honest, she kind of appreciated her coming. So she simply nodded.

* * *

><p>The four girls sat in the waiting room, where they rotated between long silences and small talk. Nobody was very lively, but they all tried to distract from the situation at some point by either talking about Glee Club or the latest school gossip. Santana didn't say too much. She mostly stared into space, adding the occasional nod or laugh when prompted. She kept a hold of Brittany's hand in her lap, squeezing it routinely, to which Brittany would squeeze back. It wasn't much, but it grounded her.<p>

"DId you guys hear that Karofsky is leaving McKinley?" Rachel stated dramatically.

"What? Why?" Brittany questioned.

Quinn chuckled. "Something about him being _gay_."

Santana scoffed and rolled her eyes. "What an ass. He gave us such a hard time. Figures he'd be a closet-case."

"What's a closet-case?" Rachel asked, looking dumbfounded.

Santana laughed. "Wow Q, I suggest you educate your troll before you bring her out in public. Better fix that before she not only embarrasses herself, but _you_ too. Though, I think you're a bit too late."

Brittany giggled as Rachel huffed and crossed her arms. "Well Santana, I see you haven't lost your bite. I'm going to let it slide this time, considering the circumstances. But I suggest being nicer to me in the future, or I may not be so nice myself."

Santana smiled at this. It was nice to know some things never changed. Sure, Rachel drove her insane and sometimes she fantasized about locking her in a box and shipping back to Israel but in the big picture, she kind of liked having Rachel around. Being able to piss Rachel off was her form of entertainment and a consistency in her life that she wanted to hold on to.

And she was pretty sure Rachel needed her too, because she uncrossed her arms and smiled right back at her.

The sound of someone clearing their throat caught everyone's attention. Santana shot up out of her seat at the sight of Dr. Lopez. She quickly made her way over to him, Brittany close behind. Rachel and Quinn stood back, giving them space.

Santana's heart sank when she got closer to her father. His eyes were red, and he couldn't look up. He slowly peeled his surgeon cap off and clutched it tightly as she approached.

"Dad?" She searched his face for something, anything, to tell her good news. She came up with nothing. All she saw was emptiness.

He didn't speak for a few moments. It was the longest few moments of her life.

He cleared his throat again and looked up to meet his daughter's pleading eyes. "I'm sorry, Santana. She...she didn't make it."

The rest was blurry. She wasn't sure if he kept speaking, because she didn't hear it. She didn't hear anything. She didn't see anything. She didn't feel anything. Her entire world went numb. She didn't know if she was crying, or falling, or both. All her mind was doing was replaying memories of her mother and her, from the time when she was a little girl, all the way up to their breakfast earlier that morning. The woman who was there for her from the day she was born, through her first steps, holding her hand on that first day of school, carrying her off of the soccer field when she broke her ankle, giving her a pep talk before cheerleading tryouts, loving her when she came out to her, up until the day she turned seventeen. Through the best times and the worst, her mom was the one thing in her life that had remained stable and unchanged. She knew that no matter what happened, she always had her mother to come back to.

Until now.

The room started to spin. Santana tried to drop to her knees, but both Dr. Lopez and Brittany caught her before she made impact. Brittany's tears fell while she held Santana up. All she could do was hold onto Santana for dear life and whisper things like "I'm right here" and "I won't let you fall". Rachel turned and cried into Quinn's arms.

Santana became dead weight in Brittany's arms. The blonde could only hold her up for so long before she was forced to gently lower her to the ground. Santana tucked her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She buried her face into her knees as and just let her tears fall. She couldn't cry quietly even if she wanted to.

"Brittany," Dr. Lopez called, unable to look anywhere but at his hands. Brittany left Santana's side and approached him. "Can you take her to your house? I'm sorry I have to ask but...I just- she just can't-"

"I know," she nodded, reaching out and touching his arm.

"Please, make sure she's okay. I know you'll do a better job than I ever could," he said as he continued to stare down at his hands, before backing up before turning in the other direction.

* * *

><p>With the help of Quinn and Rachel, the three girls managed to get Santana out of the hospital and into the car. Brittany guessed that Santana had run out of tears, because all she did was stare straight ahead at nothing. Her eyes were puffy and her expression was blank. She hadn't said a word to anyone. It was almost like she actually couldn't hear anything, because she was completely unresponsive to everything that was said to her.<p>

Brittany hugged Quinn and Rachel goodbye, even though they insisted on coming back to Brittany's house with her to help take care of Santana. But Brittany knew that Santana would just want to be alone. It would inevitably stress her out to have more people around. Brittany's parents were already going to be there, and she had to call to ask them not to approach Santana at all. She knew her parents would want to help, but also knew that there was nothing they could really do.

It was dark when Brittany pulled the car up to her house. She looked over to Santana, who hadn't even flinched since she was put into the car. Her forehead was resting against the passenger window, eyes completely glossed over. Brittany sighed and gently took a hold of Santana's hand, lifting it to her mouth and placing a soft kiss to the back of it. Still no reaction. She placed it back on Santana's lap and got out of the car, walking over to Santana's side to help her out.

When she opened the door, Brittany knelt down in front of her. "Santana, baby, I need you to walk inside with me, okay? Or I can try and carry you but my arms are tired and I don't know if I can. So just, try, okay?" she stared up at Santana with hopeful eyes, but received no response. So she stood up, preparing to have to muster up the rest of her strength to lift the girl into the house and up the stairs. She reached down and placed Santana's right arm around her shoulders, gripping her waist and lifting her out. But instead of having to lift her up, she felt Santana grip her and start moving. Brittany sighed in relief and assisted Santana up her porch and inside her front door.

Thankfully her parents were nowhere to be seen. The house was dark, aside from a lamp providing just the slightest light from the upstairs hallway. After a bit of struggling, Brittany got Santana to the top of the stairs. Suddenly, Santana's body hunched over and she whimpered.

"San, are you okay?" But her words went unanswered as Santana broke free of Brittany's grasp and darted towards the bathroom just a few doors down. Brittany followed close behind, arriving in the bathroom just in time to quickly sweep Santana's hair out from around her face as she emptied the little contents she still had in her stomach. When she was finished, Brittany reached up and pulled a towel down to wipe the girl's face. Santana lifted her head and Brittany's heart broke at what she saw. Tears were streaming down her face yet again, features scrunched in a hopeless expression. Her sobs were by no means graceful. Brittany pulled her to her chest, squeezing her to the point where she thought Santana might burst. Santana didn't hug back, she didn't speak... she just cried.

After several minutes of sitting on the floor, letting Santana soak her shirt, she gently coaxed the girl into her arms so she could lift her up. Santana was trembling, and Brittany was sure the girl would collapse again if she tried to stand on her own. Brittany scooped her up in her arms and carried her the short way to her bedroom, where she placed Santana on her bed and covered her in blankets. She looked down at the broken girl. She looked so sad and lost. It ripped Brittany apart inside to see her like this.

She asked Santana if she wanted anything, or if there was anything she could do. But she just received silence. Santana just remained on her side, partially curled up into herself, staring at nothing.

Santana stayed like this for days. The only movement she ever made was to either turn over or get up to use the bathroom. She refused any help from Brittany. She didn't eat, drink, or speak. Every night Brittany would try to curl up into Santana and put her arms around her to let her know she was there, but Santana would just shrug her off. Brittany knew Santana was pushing her away, and it was starting to break her down. Santana's world had shattered, and all Brittany wanted to do was pick up the pieces, if Santana would let her.

* * *

><p>It was the night before the funeral, and Santana hadn't moved all day. She managed to fall asleep at some point. She didn't know what time it was, nor did she care. All she wanted to do was rot here, never to be seen or heard from again. She was lost in her own mind, thinking about what she could have done better over and over again. She knew her mom's death wasn't her fault, but she couldn't help but to think of all of the times she pushed her mom's buttons and made things difficult for her.<p>

And now she was alone. Sure, she had Brittany, but how could she _really_ know that the girl would stay? Brittany wasn't bound to her in any way, so it was easy to assume that one day, she wouldn't be there for her either. So why waste time getting too attached? She loved Brittany, of course, but to know that the girl could just up and walk away from her, give up on her, it was too much to handle. The thought made her sick. Or, even worse, Brittany could be taken from her just like her mom was. That thought made her even sicker.

A draft wafted through the air, prickling the exposed skin on her shoulder. Santana tried to sink further into the bed to make it stop. Why was there even a draft in here? It was then she heard a voice. It was quiet, so she couldn't make out who it was or what they were saying. Santana turned to see that the window in Brittany's room was wide open, curtains moving a bit as the breeze tickled through them. "Britt?" Her voice cracked; she hadn't spoken in days. She looked back over to the bedside table, and sure enough, there was a glass of water waiting for her. For the first time in a while, she sat up and let the liquid pour down her throat, soothing the dryness.

She heard the voice again. This time she recognized it as Brittany's, but she still couldn't hear her words. She lifted herself out of bed and looked around. Was it coming from outside the window?

Santana walked towards the open window and peeked outside. Sure enough, she found Brittany sitting on the roof, knees tucked to her chest. Before she could ask the girl what the hell she was doing out there, Brittany spoke again.

"I don't really know how this works, or even if this does work," Brittany mumbled, "But I didn't know what else to do. I'm just so worried about Santana. I'm trying so hard, but she won't let me help her. I feel like if she'd just let me in, I could help make the pain go away. But she won't. She's lost and alone. She doesn't have to be alone. I want to be there with her, holding her hand, telling her everything is going to be okay."

Santana leaned her head up against the open window pane listening to Brittany talk. But who was she talking to? God?

"Please help her be okay. Because I know if I can't, you can. You've always been there and I know you always will be. But I don't think Santana knows that." Brittany sighed. "She asked me the other day if I would ever leave her. I said no. But it kills me to know that she doesn't believe me. I love her more than anything in this world, and I'd never leave her side. Ever. She's the love of my life and I know...I think, I'm hers. At least I hope I am." Brittany sniffled.

Santana's heart ached. She was the love of Brittany's life? So many emotions rushed through her, and it overwhelmed her. But most importantly, the pain she was feeling was temporarily replaced by that of warmth, love, and adoration. She wanted to kick herself for not letting Brittany help her when they both knew she needed it the most.

She knew Brittany was starting to cry, and all she wanted to do was leap out there and hold the blonde. But she kept herself back, because she knew Brittany wasn't done yet. She wrapped her arms around herself as Brittany continued.

"I know you're watching over her. She misses you, and I wish you could come back. I miss you too. I wish you could have watched Santana grow up into the beautiful woman I know she'll be. She's such an amazing person and I think she got that from you." Brittany smiled a bit and wiped her eyes. "I just wanted to let you know that, if she'll let me, I'll take good care of your daughter. I'll always be there when she needs me, and even when she doesn't. I know she'll make you proud and I hope I can make you proud too." She looked up at the stars. "I love you and miss you. Rest in peace, Mama."

Santana had her hand clasped over her mouth, tears streaming down her cheeks. She couldn't believe what she'd just heard. Any doubts about Brittany were washed away, and now she was sure she'd never find anybody she'd love more and who loved her back. She took a few breaths, wiped her tears, and grabbed one of Brittany's sweatshirts, slipping it on.

Taking a hold of the window, she pulled herself up on the window sill and stepped onto the roof. She quietly stepped over to Brittany, sitting down next to her. Brittany jumped at the sound, clearly not expecting Santana to make an appearance. The blonde looked over in shock, and a shy smile spread across her face.

Instead of looking at Brittany, Santana looked up at the sky and took a deep breath. "I love you and I miss you too. I know you're in a better place now. But don't worry about me," Santana looked at Brittany and laced her fingers through the blonde's, "The love of my life is here with me, and because of her, I know I'll be okay."


End file.
